Auto shop Koenigs Tiger
Hey Dennis it's me
Hey dude, you're back already, or what?
You got a minute?
Is Erik around?
Yes, he is here, already asked for you. Should I go get him?
Listen to me really quick, it's important.
OK
I'm totally screwed!
The bloody French ripped me off!
Stuff, cash, van, itâ€™s all gone, the whole shebang
Now I'm stuck and completely fucked
They even took my cell phone. Rotten gypsies, damn rats!
OK
And where are you now, in France or...
I'm in a dump somewhere close to the border
Meh. Right out in the sticks
Mhm
Dennis...
I won't get off cheaply
You got that?
Listen...
You're my cousin. You're the only one I can still trust
You've got to help me!
Ya .. Eh.. I...
Dennis!
Dennis, Yes or No?
Yes or No, Dennis?
Of course I'll help... - Will you help me Yes or No?
Of course I'll help you
I've got that shoe box
Go to my place, in the kitchen, right next to the sink
there's some scrap paper and empty bottles
behind that, at the wall, there's a shelf
there's a shoe box on it
Understood, shoe box...
Send that one by mail!
Send express! Someway it's fast
What kind of shoes?
There are no fucking shoes in it, you dumb-ass! Damn, try using your brain!
At least I should know what kind of shoes
I don't want to accidentally grab some sandals and...
then they are the wrong slippers
Do I look like a damn hippie, who wears sandals or what?
There's just a single shoe box!
I don't know what kind of shoes are in it, doesn't matter
OK
Whatever, sandals or not. All my money is in that box and no shoes!
If you aren't sure open it and look into it
Then you'll know whether It's the right box
I understand. Now I understand
And where should I send it to?
I can do It during lunch break, but I need to know where I have to send it to, to what address
To what address, dude?
Lake Constance
I'm heading off to Lake Constance!
Lake Constance, what do you want at Lake Constance?
I used to know a chick, Barbara I think
Ok Barbara, and what's Barbara's address?
First I have to get there and figure out where she lives
And then I'll let you know where to send it
I haven't seen her in a while I have to figure everything out first
Then I'll call you and tell you where to send it
But now get yourself to my place and grab that box
Ok, and how do you get to the Lake Constance?
I'll manage that!
RAT KING
Hello?
Hi!
How much is it to rent a trailer?
You were already looking in the right spot!
You'll find all you need on those signs
I'd like to think you are able to read
Or maybe not...
What?!
Nothing
58â,¬ or what?
Plus 150â,¬ deposit cash up front
Can I make a call somewhere?
Yes absolutely there is a phone, but just for registered guests and staff
So. How long do you wanna stay?
A couple of days - A couple of days. So two?
A couple of days - A couple of days, that means two days to me
I don't know yet!
You just said you want to stay "a couple" of days
"A couple" means two to me
A couple, two people
A couple of beers, two beers
A couple of days, two days
So I'll get 150â,¬ deposit and your ID
So that's the reason I came here. I wanted to speak with you about something
Oh, you want to talk with me about something?
Yes! - Yes
That's the reason Iâ€™m here. I had...
I'm in an uncomfortable situation. I just arrived last night...
got robbed. All my documents are gone
My wallet is gone. So I came here to ask you...
If you could stay for free
No. Of course not!
Of course not! How could I even think
But?
I just thought about if I could...
I wanted to ask you if I could have a packet sent to this address?
No! - What?
No. Absolutely no way - What no?
No. No means no!
That is forbidden and I tell you why. Specific example:
Somebody has a bomb sent to them
And the bomb explodes while I'm opening the packet
Then I'll have stumpy arms!
How should I do my job then?
Look at this: Calculator!
Tell me, are you kidding me, or what?
Do I look like I'm kidding?
Is this your campsite?
This is my campsite, since 2008
You know what...
I suggest you... to sign into the guest book
Then you can have your super very important packet sent to a friend
In your best handwriting!
What?
In your best handwriting. I have to be able to read it
Cursive, please!
Adolf Hitler
Very funny!
Give me my pen back!
Which pen?
The pen I just gave to you
I don't have your pen
Oh... then... you know what... keep the stupid pen and get out!
Oh, goodness!
Goodbye!
Fuck you! Son of a bitch!
Auto shop KÃ¶nigs Tiger
Dennis it's me
What's the situation, are you at Lake Constance already?
Yes I am, but I still have to figure out about the damn address
I just wanted to rent a trailer at the campsite. It didn't work cause I was short on money
And I have to deal with a square...
Wait a second...? You are on a campsite... In a trailer, dude?
How mangy is that?
How mangy is that? What else should I do in my situation?
Whatever... you could mug somebody. That's never been a big deal for you
Do I look like a damn criminal walking across the campsite, robbing old people?
If something happens I'll get arrested, they send me to DÃ¼sseldorf and then...
What about Erik, did he say something?
Erik is kind of nervous already. He tried to call you a few times and...
the customer didn't give any response as well
Of course, because they ripped me off, I told you that!
So you've got an address for me? - Give me your cell phone number
015... 01755379896
Dennis...
Thank you, dude! Thank you!
You're welcome
I also have a private trailer you could rent
So this is the trailer. I lived here myself before
Back then I was working at the kiosk, but then I started working at the laundromat
And then I bought a new one. So I just live next door
And what about the garden goblins... there's quite a lot!
And what's the bar for?
I'd feel a bit like being in jail
Thatâ€™s because of the robber bands. They are around here
Robber bands?
Mhm. At night, they put little tubes...
through the windows. And then they turn on the gas
And as soon as everybody is numbed, they rob them
That's why
Did it happen to you, too?
No
I'm Ellen, by the way
Hi, I'm Rene - Hi
So how much would it be...
in total, with everything included... all inclusive or whatever it's called...
If I rented the trailer?
20â,¬
- Mhm
Yes... Well I mean...
Don't you wanna see the inside?
Sure
OK - Ok!
Pure luxury camping
So I still have that...
I... got robbed yesterday...
When I arrived
They took my bag, my money...
I, of course, called home straight away, and told my friend
He'll send me a packet with the most needed things
So, .. would it be a big deal if I gave you the money tomorrow?
So as it's off the books, that's not a problem at all
Ehm... If you do me a favor
Which is?
Come along
So, .. in this tree...
there is a murder of crows, making noise all the time
So, not right now, I don't know why
Normally they're always there
And it's so annoying
And I don't wanna have them blown away
And I hate scarecrows
That's why I thought about taking that gnome...
and putting it on the rooftop and then nail it down
So he can scare the crows away, like a scarecrow, you know?
Mhm
This one or what?
Yep
And that shall work?
Yes, of course
Why don't you poison them or cut down the fucking tree then?
I think the crows wonâ€™t give a shit if there is a goblin or not
The problem is, that I can't put it on the rooftop because its weight is about 100kg (200lbs)
ho-hum
That's why I wanted to ask... I already nailed it down on the board
So you just have to put it on the rooftop
Okay... then I'll put it up there for you
No problem
Damn this fucking goblin is heavy
I could have told you before... I'm not the typical craftsman
So will you put it up there or not?
Thank you!
No problem
Oh .. here are the keys
If you need anything else, I'm always at the laundromat from 9am til 5pm
In case you are looking for me... I usually have my break from 12 pm to 1pm, but I have my lunch with me
So you'll always find me there
Youâ€™re from here right?
Yes
Do you know a women named Barbara?
Barbara is her name, red hair...
I think her parents were the former owners of this campsite...
So, this packet from my buddy... Could I address it to you in a pinch?
No...
Auto shop KÃ¶nigs Tiger
Did you find the box?
Yes - Did you find the box?
Did you find the box?
Yes
Well okay good
Did you see Erik, did he say something?
Erik is mad as hell. He wants to fuck you up
He's going to give you a grilling and feed you to the dogs
I think if you came here instantly, you could have talked to him about it, but now it's through
Dennis don't be that naive. What do you think would have happened if I came back?
If I came back, he would have knocked all of my teeth out, Dennis
Watch your language! If he finds out that I'm in touch with you I can also get myself new chompers!
So, where should I send the shoe box to?
No idea
There is nobody I can talk to normally. I don't know where I ended up
There are just tractors and crappy farmers
So where are you? Still at the campsite?
Yeah. It's called Andy's Campsite
I'll check that out and call you again later
Alright
I'm ready. Are you coming?
Oh yeah baby. Your drumstick is on his way!
Good morning
Is the gnome still up there?
Last time I checked, he was still on the rooftop
Listen I... - Are the crows gone?
I don't think so, they were really loud this morning
Listen I... still have the problem I told you about yesterday
I have nobody, no address where I can have the packet sent to
Then everything... - Hey, everything fit for fun?
Hey Baby
I bought a little bit for a BBQ tonight
Pork neck from Andy's dirty dancing and a video
Drinking a little bit of red wine. Just the two of us
For a little bit of pleasure time
It's time to live in harmony!
Who's he by the way?
He's renting my old trailer
Our old trailer!
No, honey. It's my old trailer we are not together anymore
Is he also wearing my slippers or what?
They aren't your slippers, honey!
My name is Rudi!
Caution, bather! I saw you throwing your butts on our beach
Dislike!
That's the first warning of three, then you are banned!
Calm down Rudi - So you are the campsite sheriff or what?
Can you come around Rudi, somebody pushed over the trash cans at the petting farm again
I am!
Coming!
Do you have a Euro for a chubby hubby?
Later we'll have a nice party together
My baby belongs to me!
What moron is that?
So listen...
this is my address. You can have your packet sent to it
I can also nail a few more goblins on the rooftop, if you want
Hi this is Dennis, you can leave a voicemail
Dennis it's me. Why is your cell phone turned off now?
Whatever! When you listen to this then send me the packet to...
Ellen Conzelmann
SeehafenstraÃŸe 14
88045 Friedrichshafen
Dennis... I rely on you!
Hello?!
What's you problem wanker?
##??!!###!!!!!
Your schnapps, Mr.
Your Hefeweizen, Horst
Thank you - Cheers
Thank you
Poor boy, why are you so angry?
What?
I asked you: why are you so angry?
I'm not angry
So I have to believe you then
Sorry. No smoking!
Do you have a telephone?
Hi this is Dennis, you can leave...
Hey boy, I think you have to vent
That would be good for you!
I can tell you something: Way back, my father told me I have to assume our carpentry business
But really I didn't want to. I would've rather done something with cars, like tuning
But that's how life goes. Now I've been doing it for so many years, seething with anger
I was crazy angry, but it wasn't worth it
But what can you do? My father passed away meanwhile
That means I have to do it by myself now
So did you get me?
You always have to do your own thing!
No matter what's happening, you always have to do your own thing!
Got it?
Cheers!
Hey - Hi
What happened to you?
Nothing
It doesn't look like that
I wanted to surprise Rudi
But I just caught him, screwing Nicolette from the petting farm
A Pony?
No
She's working there
Probably it's always her, pushing the trash cans over on purpose
So he has to come around
So screw that spaz!
You are a beautiful girl
I don't know...
Well, where I'm from, the sluts have names like Nicolette
Or Vanessa, or whatever
Chantal
You're such a dork!
Would you like to smoke a bit of weed? I've got some in... your trailer
I don't need weed
But maybe you'd benefit from good company
Where can you get that shit from?
That's from France
From a dumb-ass
You drove to France especially for that?
Do I look 16 or what?
Kind of, but not exactly
Did you find your friend?
Who? Do you mean Barbara? - Yes
Kind of, yes
Really, around here?
Well, I'm not quite sure about that one
Huh?
What the heck! That was a former friend of my youth I just met here...
while we were staying for vacation... when I was 15 or 16 years old
Honestly I just remember that she's got red hair... or had
Maybe she's got a Mohawk or anything else meanwhile
Or she's got cancer and lost all of 'em
And you met her here on the campsite?
The folks owned...
I don't even know if it was that one, but they owned a campsite
Your parents?
No, Barbara's parents
And that's where you've been?
Barbara...
She was my...
She was my first screw
It's not nice to say it like that
Sometimes it's good to be straight... occasionally
Maybe there was also a little bit of love
Love...
Good morning!
Who are you all?
Tcha. How are we all?
Get that broad away!
Eh!
Got a nice place to hide, Rene
A little gypsy caravan and a hippie slut
To each their own
I've taken the liberty of taking your savings
As a down payment of what you owe me
Possibly it's a single payment. I don't know yet
Could be that you can't get anything straight in your head anymore when we're done
Take a look at Dennis
He was lucky, he's just missing a few teeth
I was worried
I was worried!
I wasn't able to get you, you didn't call me. Seemed like you lost your cell phone
So I came by
Ta-dah! Here I am!
Wanna say something?
It wasn't ideal
What? Say it again!
It wasn't ideal
Oh okay... I see... not ideal!
So, do you know what a rat king is?
No? Nothing? Ok
Never mind! Almost no one knows it. So...
If several rats are intertwined, knotted or stuck together...
then it's called a rat king
Because one of the single rats isn't survivable
It's just a part of the whole disgusting lump
You gross me out
You gross me out so much!
You don't want me to go "talk" to your doll instead, do you?
So just shut the fuck up! Ok?
You, ratty Rene, are that small awkward rat!
And I am the whole thing, I am the head, I am the rat king!
And do you think...
I'll let you screw me over?
I would never go back on you, Erik!
You would say anything now
You would say anything now. Just shitty petty ratty words of a shitty petty ratty Rene!
I'll ask you now: What would you do if you were me?
How can you bear that?
Back to the question
Please keep her out of it. It's just our business!
And she's your business
Cling together, swing together!
Hey, what's happening?
Release my wife!
I wanna see your visitor passes immediately!
This is private property!
OK. Banned!
Banned!
And you are?
I'm Rudi
Rudi...
I can also call the cops
You can also leave well enough alone
Can you put the knife away?
Banned, Rudi!
Really?
So, ratty Rene!
Where were we?
I'm sorry!
So, we're done with the statements
It could be that you also have to come to the police station. But we'll wait for the report first
I'll bring my ID then...
We'll handle that
Bloody robber band!
The campers have to come up with an idea about that
They already had to mount bars around their trailers
Right Ellen? And without any success!
We never had something like this in the old days
It always took all sorts. But nothing like that, for sure
The past years they used the daze gas
Now they hold a knife to people's throats. Great, awesome!
Nature...
It was the act of nature! Nature judges everything!
I don't want to croak like that, for sure
They are also just humans
But they are really a bunch of scumbags
Rudi, I think it's time for you to go to the ambulance again!
Look at you! You are close to going out like a light!
That's what I call battered!
That's how people are these days
Just money and rush in their minds
So we can be happy to be the normal ones!
There's only one thing left...
Ellen, would you mind making me a coffee?
Hey girls! You had some party yesterday?
Tonight we're gonna party hard!
Did I actually show you my radio?
Quite big!
And quite hard!
Dig in! See ya!